Social Taboos: Open Relationships

Ashton and Demi? Will and Jada? Are they on to something or are they prime examples of the how you can have it all and still not be satisfied? Unless you have been under a rock, you know about the demise of Demi and Ashton's marriage and their "alleged" open relationship. And we have all heard the rumors about Will and Jada being swingers. Now that this has reached mainstream media, is there really something to having an open relationship or is it just another fad?

Just to be clear, I have never thought that monogamy was natural. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE monogamy (hell, it's 2011; it's too dangerous to just be sleeping with different people) and I believe it can be taught. But on the other hand, can you really live life and nurture the connections that you have with persons [of the same or opposite sex] by living a monogamous lifestyle?

Connections
One cannot stop forming connections with people.  You meet people everyday.  You are bound to be attracted to someone else, and quite possibly, want to see where that connection will lead.  But you have a wife or significant other.  So what do you do?  You contemplate an affair or you totally cut the connection off, severing the relationship.  What if you could really go to your mate and be real about the feelings you have for this person and they genuinely understand and tell you to go for it?  Could you handle that?  Would you even want a relationship like that?  What if the shoe was on the other foot? 

I believe that open relationships can be a good thing for certain relationships.  But there are a few things that need to be understood.

1. It isn't all about sex... Yes, sex is one part of a relationship but it is not the only thing.  Your mate may like her (or him) just as a hanging out buddy or just for convo.  Open up and really LISTEN to what your mate is telling you about this person.
2. Be HONEST about everything... In order for an open relationship to work, you must be completely honest about everything, including your feelings about other people.  Talk to your mate openly and honestly and be open to their feedback.  Both of you have to be on the same page.
3. Make sure that your #1 (husband or boyfriend) knows that they are your #1... Your mate has to feel special and know that you respect and care for them deeply and that they come first.  They should never have to worry about someone else coming before them.
4. Make sure your boyfriends (or girlfriends) know your mate comes first... Your mate has to also know that you have a person that comes first in your life but you want to nurture the connection you have with them.
5. No SECRETS... This is where open relationships go wrong.  There should be no secrets.  Your mate and (girlfriends or boyfriends) should all know each other.  They should all know their place and respect it.  If they cannot respect their place, they should not be involved in your open relationship.

Open relationships are not a new thing but more and more people are trying it.  Keep it simple, open, and honest and you should be successful.

Happy Humping!!